1. Are you always irritable, annoyed, intolerant or angry these days?

2. Do you experience an ongoing sense of numbness or of being isolated from your own self or from others? Do you usually feel that you have no one to talk to about what's happened?

3. Since your loved one died, are you highly anxious most of the time about your own death or the death of someone you love? Is it beginning to interfere with your relationships, your ability to concentrate or live as you would like to live?

4. Do you feel that you are always and continually preoccupied with your loved one, his or her death or certain aspects of it even though it's been several months since his or her death?

5. Do you usually feel restless or in high gear?

6. Do you feel the need to be constantly busy ... beyond what's normal for you?

7. Are you afraid of becoming close to new people for fear of losing again?

8. Do you find yourself acting in ways that might prove harmfu1 to you over time: drinking more than you used to; using more prescription or non-prescription drugs; engaging in sexual activity that is unsafe or unwise; driving in an unsafe or reckless manner (beyond what's normal for you); or entertaining serious thoughts about suicide?

9. Are you taking on too much responsibility for surviving family members or close friends? (What's too much responsibility? That varies greatly and depends on the situation, but if you're feeling heavily burdened by it, angry or like the situation is suffocating you, it might be time to speak with someone.)

10. Do your grief reactions continue, over time, to be limited in some way? Are you experiencing only a few of the reactions or emotions that usually come with grief? Are you unable to express your thoughts or feelings about your loved one and his or her death in words or in actions? Do you remember only certain aspects of your loved one or your relationship together, for example only the good parts as opposed to a more complete and balanced view of him or her?

Beyond these ten signs, trust your own judgement. If you think that talking to a professional might help, talk to one or more people to see who you are comfortable with. Take advantage of one who seems helpful to you. After all, grief is painful enough without trying to do it by yourself.

Is there some aspect of what you're experiencing that makes you wonder about whether you're normal or going crazy? Do you feel stuck in your grief in some way, unable to move on, even though it's been quite some time since your loved one's death?

Testimonials

	"Annie, I wish to thank you sincerely for the excellent professional service you provided to my family in your capacity as a Celebrant at the recent funeral service in Albury of my sister Juna. You definitely provided succor to us and offered strength in our time of grieving. During the planning sessions you unselfishly offered many hours to us and guided us delicately with understanding achieving the correct structure. With our special need for our adapted Hebrew service it was a wonderful contribution from you in showing initiative by seeking assistance from a Jewish contact in Melbourne to present literature to us at the first family conference. This alleviated much burden and gave us confidence when we as a family wondered how we would face the day at the chapel. You have a strong perception of individual situations and your ability to listen to many contributions from various sources putting it into accurate dialogue, capturing true intent then delivering the eulogy with controlled speech is indeed a wonderful talent you possess. Thank you for your first class planning, guidance, sensitivity and delivery." Daryl.

	"Dear Annie, thank you so much for the highly professional yet very caring manner in which you prepared, delivered and guided us through the funeral for our adored son, Matthew. As you understand, only too well, the gap his passing has left is enormous, we miss him more than words can describe. He carried us all with such dignity through his illness and death." Jan, Adrian & family.

	"Anne Godde conducted the civil service in honour of out late daughter Rachael. From the time of our first meeting, Anne showed great empathy for our situation and was always extremely supportive during our darkest hours. Anne was of great assistance in helping organise and arrange Rachael's funeral. She encouraged us to have the type of celebration of Rachael's life that we felt the most fitting and appropriate. Our family felt the nature of the service we had decided upon with Anne's help was indeed a wonderful tribute to the life of a special person to so many people. This view was reinforced by the favourable testaments we received in relation to the nature of the service from many other family members and friends. I would wholeheartedly support Anne's ongoing role as a civil celebrant." Steve & family.

	"Anne Godde recently acted as celebrant at my husband Alex's funeral. She was wonderful and I highly recommend her. To me, she seemed to go the 'extra mile'. She was very giving of her time in the days leading up to Alex's funeral, visiting us several times and getting to know us. She brought us together at a time of utter chaos, gently guiding us and actively listening to everyone involved, allowing us to put together a very personal, meaningful and beautiful ceremony. I particularly appreciated her approach to my young children." Maureen.

	"I would like to thank White Magnolia for recommending Annie Godde to be our celebrant for my mother's funeral. Annie was so understanding, patient and strong for us in our time of grief. She sat with us, several times for varying lengths of time, never impatient with our indecision, always willing to offer advise or opinion when needed, but never forcing it. She came to us, worked around our commitments and always made herself available at anytime we needed. She listened to our memories, our stories of our mother and took the time to get to know my mum, through our words without having met her. She let her emotions guide her and became to understand my mother as the rest of us did. Annie then took this understanding of my mother, listened to our wishes and created a service that allowed us to say goodbye, allowed us to feel sad, but at the same time, reminded us of the good times and made us smile. I, as were all the family, was very pleased with Annie's work and I know my mother would be pleased as well. Again thank you to White Magnolia and to Annie, for making such a dark time in our lives bright enough to go on." Alan.

	"Annie, just a word of thanks for the lovely service you did for my mother. You were a ray of flight shining through the darkness of our despair and for that we are very grateful. It was wonderful the way you listened to what we wanted for mum and helped us choose a ceremony that was fitting for us. Telling you our stories of Mum helped us with our grief as well as giving you an idea of the sort of person Mum was. Your warmth and caring made it bearable to get through the arrangements and allowed us to say goodbye to Mum our way. I would certainly recommend you to anyone in this unfortunate situation, Annie, as you truly understand was we are going through. Thank you." Alison.

	"When my father passed away very suddenly, I was confronted with having to organise a funeral service for him. I wanted a non-denominational service and therefore a celebrant to conduct the ceremony. I had met Annie Godde socially a couple of times but never attended a service with her as a celebrant but thought she would be the perfect person for our family's needs, so I specifically asked for her when I approached the funeral directors. Annie telephoned me and the following evening, came to my home to discuss what we wanted at the service and to ask about my father, whom she'd never met. My brother and I talked of the serious and funny sides of his life and reminisced about our life and our father while Annie listened and wrote her notes. She was caring and understanding and very sensitive to our recent loss. She visited us on three occasions, mostly to console a very distraught brother who had to fly to Australia from overseas and found the death of his father very difficult to come to terms with. Each time she found out other snippets about our father and eventually she put her notes together on paper. She also spent time talking to my children who gave their version of how they remembered their Grandpa. The service was as we had wanted and the way my father would have wished to be remembered. Annie was marvellous and all who attended the ceremony made comment on how well she conducted the service. I can thoroughly recommend her to anyone wishing to have a celebrant conduct a funeral service for a member of their family." Suzie.