A wedding and the celebration, when it comes down to the
raw edge is not only about the couple but also about
particularly family, extended as well and also friends.
Over the years I have had many a couple whose
intention was to elope and I’ve given them a little bit
of an insight that people are loved and a wedding
ceremony is a time when family and friends can express
their love for a couple and share a combined love of
history, heritage and memories.
I point out how sad their grandmother and mother
will be to be told that they have married when all the
parents have wanted is to see their son committed and
married to a beautiful girl – they want to be there to
honour this occasion.
So I suppose in many ways I try and steer people
away from this or at least point out the sadness that
can be caused by this rebuff.
It is your wedding day but the
problem with doing just what you want is that your
parents may never be able to come to terms with it.
This option may therefore strain their
relationship with you, your beloved and maybe children
involved and are it really worth it.
Even though you may hate it, parents do have high
expectations about their children getting married so in
a word it is about compromise and unselfishness.
I have performed many weddings
where couples have eloped and the family have said for
heavens sake elope and save us the hassle; just come
back and tell us that you are married.
I performed a wedding a few years ago now and
there was me, the bride and groom and two photographers,
one taking the stills and one doing the video.
It was a wonderful ceremony and very meaningful
and I wondered afterwards whether the photos and video
captured the true meaning of the moment.
The couple invited everyone over for a BBQ the
next day and put the video on.
I believe that everyone was very surprised and
then I turned up and once again the vows were spoken and
the rings exchanged and the couple found this far more
stressful than having a huge crowd at their ceremony.
A different way of doing it – each to their own.
Did you Know??
That between 1971 and 2005 the
number of civil weddings has quintupled, growing from
2815 to 14,535 while those carried out by ministers of
other religions has quadrupled from 187 to 794.
Annie.
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