This week I would like to focus on witnesses and who can
or cannot witness your tying of the knot.
The only real rule of thumb is that your witness
must be over 18 years of age.
For most bride and grooms the chief bridesmaid
and best man are their chosen witnesses.
But occasionally this is not the case.
To my knowledge as long as there are two people over 18
years then anyone can legally
be witnesses but I don't imagine it could be the
celebrant. I
believe that the celebrant has her own very important
role to fill and that it must be kept separate from the
role of witness.
I remember one couple that I married who had the
impossible task of picking their witnesses.
I did in fact ponder what sort of dilemma was it
choosing their wedding party, but that’s another tale.
They felt that whoever they did ask, other friends
might get upset because they were not.
Upon sitting down with them and chatting we came up with
a novel idea to solve their problem …….
Before the ceremony got under way the Best Man went
round to all the guests (those over 18) with a box and
asked guests to take [and keep] one of the little
squares of coloured paper. Blue, green, yellow, etc., -
and just two squares of red paper. Before the signing I
explained why that had been done, and invited the guests
with the red squares to come forward and be witnesses.
A great idea, and one which really added an unusual
twist to that wedding and everyone was happy.
Delving a little deeper into the whole witness thing I
found an extract from the Handbook which states:
"The object of requiring the attendance of witnesses is
that their evidence will be available, should the
occasion arise, to establish the identity of the parties
or to testify as to the circumstances in which the
ceremony was performed. it is, therefore, most desirable
that the witnesses should be persons who know the
parties to the marriage. A request that the celebrant
should provide witnesses might arouse suspicion as to
the propriety of the marriage, and should not ordinarily
be acceded to."
I have had the question posed to me that if a bride and
groom just want a simple ceremony, no family, friends
and to be held in my home would it be proper for myself
and a member of my family to witness the marriage.
As much as I was honoured to be asked I declined
and suggested that perhaps they ask two of their closest
neighbours. I just felt more comfortable with this
scenario. It turned out to be a pleasant evening with
the couple, their witnesses and myself and my husband
sharing champagne and nibbles afterwards.
Speaking with a friend of mine who is also a celebrant
in Melbourne she had the experience of her bride and
groom wanting to add a little spontaneity to their
wedding and so whilst in the park they selected two
people from a passing parade.
It added a sense of fun to the wedding and as
well as making the witnesses day.
They were tickled pink.
There was a serious intent
behind choosing two complete strangers – the couple
wanted to emphasis the need to embrace your community
and have faith in the people around you and by picking
people from the parade they felt this was a way
incorporating a blessing by the community into their
special day.
This weeks Zip or Zap
Perhaps you can incorporate the idea of choosing your
witnesses into other decisions in your wedding lead up –
may solve lots of hassles.
Til next time,
Annie.
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