The purpose of a wedding is to make a man and woman's deep and lasting commitment to each other explicit.  

Each makes to the other an unconditional vow of love and affection.

A wedding is, very simply, an occasion where a man and a woman enter into an explicit public, exclusive unreserved and lifelong commitment.

There need be no special clothes, flowers, vehicles, processions, photography, food, drink or guests.   All that needed is the public words of commitment, the rings, certificates and, in the case of a religious ceremony, prayer.  The commitment is available to the spouse and wider society.

The Format of a Wedding Ceremony

There is a basic format to follow in the preparation and conduct of any particular ceremony.

However, each has individual differences in philosophy and approach and each has a variety of tips to offer and traps to avoid.

1. Introduction: Acknowledges and welcomes family and friends. May tell your personal story.

2. Monitum: (From the Marriage Act 1961-Essential) public statement from the celebrant about their legal authorization of the ceremony.

3. Reading: May be from material provided or from one of your favourite poems.

4. Giving away:(optional) may include parents or friends.

5. Asking: The question of intent.

6. Vows: A legal statement of person stating their wish to be married to the other.

7. Rings: Both parties may exchange rings or gifts.

8. Reading: Done by the celebrant or family/friend.

9. Declaration: Statement announcing declaration of marriage.

10. Signing: Signing of the certificates and presentation

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The Deeper Meaning of a Wedding

Sooner or later we begin to understand that love is more than verses on Valentines, and romance in the movies. We begin to know that love is here and now, real and true, the most important thing in our lives. For love is the creator of our favourite memories and the foundation of our fondest dreams.

Love is the promise that is always kept, a fortune that can never be spent, a seed that can flourish in even the most unlikely of places. And this radiance that never fades, this mysterious and magical joy, is the greatest treasure of all - one known only by those who love.

The notion of occasion is fundamental to ceremony. Purpose, Order, Sequence, Emotion, Pleasure, Outcome - these are some of the essential ingredients in the successful establishment of occasion. The wise, creative and sensitive treatment of these ingredients ensures a satisfying sense of occasion. Occasion is caught up with such creative elements as style, flair and an ability to empathise.

Such elements are not easily learnt, yet an understanding and appreciation of them is accessible to all who are involved in establishing a sense of occasion.

Here, it is important to take notice of public ceremonies, sometimes very grand occasions where the ingredients of occasion are very obvious so that we may witness how the sense of occasion has been created and assembled.

Tradition may be acknowledged through ceremony. Family traditions may be honoured through the choice of readings, text or music. Tradition may also be represented in the style of ceremony chosen. A wedding for example, may be traditional in essence with a formal structure and in chosen readings, music and the type of ceremony.

The wedding is the flagship ceremony. The differential is the ceremony- the public cultural and legal commitment. In context of human behaviour, it is the emotions that matter. Moving the emotions gets the results. EQ - (Emotional Quotient) is far more important for life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness. It is about attitude and commitment.

When we officiate at a wedding we make a special occasion, a special time, a special place. We create the setting for a time apart. We set out to create this time apart because we want to make a memory; we want to move the emotions so that long-term positive psychological and cultural effects will follow.

Beauty moves us deeply and is more powerful than all the knowledge in the world.

In a wedding, by careful preparation and planning, the ceremony can be clean, intentionally planned and rehearsed in all detail. It involves thinking, creating, choosing, composing, consulting, refining, and rehearsing.

The consenting couple is empowered as they have the choice of time, choice of place, choice of celebrant, choice of dress, choice of style, and choice of words and music.

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1. Convert old and new photos and video images into a CD-ROM or DVD. This is a great keepsake for your guests and a unique gift to send people who were unable to attend your wedding

2. Make your bridal waltz even more special by taking dance lessons

3. Compile a collage of you both, from baby snaps up until today

4. Enlarge a photograph of you both and ask the guests to sign it

5. Organise the photographer to get a group photo of all of your guests

6. Put a disposable camera on each table for the guests to use through the reception

7. Have a program of the wedding, with a list of your attendants and the relationship you share

8. Try something unique for your centrepieces - a fruit or fish bowl, wishing well etc

9. Have your toasting glasses personalised with a photo or inspirational saying printed on the glass, the guests can then take them home

10. Leave a note on each table addressed to each guest, thanking them for their friendship and support

Another way of giving your wedding a 'wow' is to incorporate an extra unique section to the ceremony.

For example, symbols are a fundamental part of human society. They are especially important in the expression of thought beyond the ability of language and words. Little rituals and symbols can be adapted into traditional ceremonies and these could include some of the following:

1. The lighting of a candle

2. Presentation of roses or gifts

3. The warming of rings

4. The sharing of wine or

5. Reading a special poem

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About Celebrants

• To consent to be present as the responsible authorised marriage celebrant

• To take a public role in the ceremony

• To identify themselves to the assembled parties - witnesses and guests as the celebrant authorised to solemnise the marriage

• To be responsible for ensuring the validity of the marriage according to law

• To say the words required by section 46 in the presence of the parties, the formal witnesses and the guests before the marriage is solemnised

• To be in close proximity (i.e. near by) when the vows required by section 45(2) are exchanged because it is the exchange of vows that constitutes the marriage and the authorised celebrant should ensure they see and hear these vows

• To be available to intervene (and exercise the responsibility to intervene) if events demonstrate the need for it elsewhere in the ceremony

• To be part of the ceremonial group or in close proximity to it

• To sign the papers required by the Act

These requirements don't affect my capacity to design a ceremony that includes the participation of people particularly requested by the couple and should not diminish the flexibility available to couples and civil celebrants to 'personalise' ceremonies to suit particular requirements.

It is not acceptable for couples or guests to be under any misapprehension as to the authority of a person to solemnise a marriage under the Marriage Act.

In other words it must be made clear at all times to couples and other guests who the authorised celebrant is and that that person has certain obligations under the Marriage Act even if the majority of the wedding ceremony is lead by someone else.

It is unacceptable for anyone other than the authorised celebrant themselves to use the celebrant's authorisation number.

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Please be careful when marrying on the beach - seagulls, sand flies and beached whales may not enhance the moment or add to your setting!!

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